I had no idea two years ago how my life would be completely changed by learning how to simply ‘be still’.
I am by nature a pretty optimistic and lean more towards the happy-go-lucky type personality. So why was it that I suddenly felt upset, disconnected and grouchy all the time? What in my life was out of order and more importantly – how do I fix it? There was this constant nagging that something was wrong, not physically wrong but something very deep inside of me knew something was off and it needed me to pay attention. I can describe it best by saying I felt I was in a snow globe and someone had given me and my life a good shake. And there were all these images, feelings, thoughts, words, dreams, beliefs that were in constant swirling motion around me but none of them made enough sense for me to reach out to them and grasp and say YES – this is what I need, this is what I want, this is what will fix my “problem”.
Day after day I felt like I lived in this swirling snow globe. Nothing about it resembled what was my formally simple, calm and happy life. So what is it then? Why can’t I make it stop? Why was it needing all of my attention? Why was it constantly on my mind? What is this nagging feeling that I needed to change?
It turns out it was my spirit talking to me. But I had to learn to be still to hear her message.
After explaining my snow globe angst to two very dear friends, they kindly encouraged me to take a trip to The Abbey of Gethsemani in Bardstown, Kentucky. For four days and three nights I was in silence, alone with only myself. Forced to hear my inner voice, my spirit, and the truth of my life I had obviously been ignoring for some time. The truth I had been ignoring was showing up in my human experience as anger and bitterness. I couldn’t hide or run from this nagging feeling that I needed to make a big change. That was truly the beginning of my, what I know now, as my spiritual journey.
Many people get turned off by the simple thought of being spiritual or finding a spiritual path. Like somehow even trying to comprehend that we all have a spiritual instinct is some type of voodoo practice. It’s not. It is simply recognizing that we are all connected to the energy of all creation. We are a part of it and it is always a part of us. It is simply knowing we are more than our mind and body.
Even the YMCA recognizes that we need to build a healthy spirit, mind and body.
Turns out I had the body and mind part in good working order but the spirit was lacking. I had no idea two years ago, even after being in church my whole life, that learning about my spiritualty would forever change my life. Now I recognize there is a true difference in being a religious person and being on a spiritual path.
Most of us go through life fighting and swimming against our human experiences instead of relaxing into the mystery of life as its happening. The spiritual instinct that we all have allows us to move through life knowing that no matter what is happening in your human experience that we will be all right.
A spiritual path is the most grounded and awakening path you can ever pursue in your life. Spirit isn’t “out there”…it is in you. Understanding that everything that is happening in your life is happening as a spiritual moment, not just what it looks like on the surface, but what it is beneath the surface – there is always something bigger, deeper, richer going on that helps you grow into yourself. Grow into who you were meant to be. Grow and be connected to the spirit, the spiritual being that you really are who is simply having a human experience.
And all because I learned to be still and listen. Now, I can be in my snow globe with all my images, feelings, thoughts, words, dreams and beliefs but I am able to watch as they all settle and land into their perfect place. Just as it should be. Without effort and with full faith that is it all happening as it should. Who knew my answer would be so simple.
Be still my friends, be still.